almost finish

We enter the last day of the month, the transition to the last month of the year.  I've actually been happy throughout this year.  All my batch mates turned eighteen (I myself included), I've managed to read tons of books throughout the year, and I learned French.  But, I won't tell more because the year's not yet over and there are still so much to do.

It rained the whole day yesterday, a mutiny happened and an earthquake occurred all in one week.  This is probably the best week this semester, aside from these facts.

cold facts

I would probably crawl very slowly, but I'll crawl no matter what. 

This semester would probably be the most difficult semester so far.  I have a bunch of research papers for each subject and I have six subjects.  It might not seem much, six, but then I'm in college and college is a whole new world.

Has it ever happened to you that when a project is given, you would do every means possible to get a high great, legal means.  You do things in advance, crawl, work dead tired but then again, some other person who would cram the whole project the night before would have a higher grade than you and would become a Dean's Lister.  It is an annoying piece of trivia in the realities of life.  I work my ass out and I would still be the only one in my group of friends who won't be in the DL.  They all cram their paper and stay sleep deprived and act like they don't understand a thing about the course but in the end, their grades would always be higher than mine.  All I can say is, screw this. 

the past and the present world.

The first day of this semester started today.  It was swell and I felt like I didn't have any break. 

I saw my blockmates again and can't help but compare them from my highschool friends whom I've seen once in a while during the sembreak.  My college peers are a lot different from my highschool friends.  They are more serious!  All they think about it school as if they don't have a life other than studying.  When we are on our breaks, all we do is talk about school.  When I was in highschool, we only talk about school about once a week and with no intense discussion about it.  "Kamusta exam?" might be the only word of school during highschool.  My highschool friends can be described in one phrase: "down to earth".  Their personalities are so varied and even though you can't really think of something to talk about, there is no awkwardness going on.  They are more fun to be with.  There is no "plastikan" with them because you've seen them in their worst.  In college, you can't help but fake a smile and fake interest in a chosen topic that is both irrelevant and useless.  I'm not saying I hate my college friends, they are responsible and their interest in studies exceeds a normal human being's.  They are also able to really help you out when you have problems regarding school.  But highschool friends are a lot cooler, although they can never help in Accounting.  They can, however, help you in your emotional rollercoaster and actually make you feel human.  They are more concerning and understanding about your well-being.

College is academic, highschool is personal.

That is, when it comes to people.  I would like to have my highschool friends in college.  College is a lot more fun because of the different activities and opportunities it imposes but hey, the people are snobs.

It might be because I spent four entire years with the same people during highschool.  We were all experiencing the exact same hardship highschool had to offer.  Being in school for nine straight hours with not much as an hour of a break, highschool people would really be of the best comfort.

I don't know.  I hope that in due time, before I graduate, I would be able to feel the same emotional attachment with my college peers.  I hope that we not only develop "office" relationship with each other, but also personal relationship. 

childhood pocket

In This Diary by The Ataris is probably one of my favorite songs.  Not the best of the best, but definitely a favorite.  This song probably describes my current sembreak, the best ever had.  However, I did not do anything rebellious of that sort, but the idea is.  The song is about growing up and that the process of growing up, is better than being a grown up.  Growing up, you face many difficult challenges, commit mistakes and learn.  Being a grown up, you have an idea how to handle things perfectly so you are judged accordingly, better not mess up.  Growing up, you are careless, happy and innocent.

Anyway, here's the lyrics of the song, for the sake of it.

In This Diary- The Ataris 

Here in this diary,
I write you visions of my summer.
It was the best I ever had.
There were choruses and sing-alongs,
And that unspoken feeling.
I’m knowing that right now is all that matters.
All the nights we stayed up talking
And listening to 80’s songs;
Quoting lines from all those movies that we love.
It still brings a smile to my face.
I guess when it comes down to it…

Being grown up isn’t half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters
Is just following your heart
And eventually you’ll finally get it right.

Breaking into hotel swimming pools,
And wreaking havoc on our world.
Hanging out at truck stops just to pass the time.
The black top’s singing me to sleep.
Lighting fireworks in parking lots,
Illuminate the blackest nights.
Cherry cokes under this moonlight summer sky.
2015 Riverside, it’s time to say, "goodbye."
Get on the bus, it’s time to go.

Being grown up isn’t half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters
Is just following your heart,
And eventually you’ll finally get it right.

Nonetheless, I can't wait to grow up so I can have money.  Why is it that when you are young, you like to have lots of things: toys, books, bikes, etc.. but you don't have the luxury to buy it?  When you are older and earning, you don't even want anything but maybe clothes?  And everything you buy when you are older are necessary materials like scissors, pans and refrigerators?  You don't want to buy anything for yourself that you have been longing for when you were a child? I'm not saying that you should waste your money on these items, of course spend wisely, but it is really weird that when you have the opportunity to practically buy stuffs you want, and even with excess money, you don't.

Which makes me wonder, will I act the same way adults do when they earn money?  I hope that I would act around the middle.  I would probably buy a book every other week, my guilty pleasure and the only thing that I actually spend money on.  In the past, I was given the privilege of having my books paid by my parents to encourage us to read, and the fact that books are educational.  But then, when they noticed that my buying of books got very very frequent, they simply gave me free books every month and majority of times, I buy for myself.   It could be a waste of money in my part, I don't earn.  Luckily, I don't have to buy CD's like I used to or DVD's.  When I was younger, I often dreamed of having the four walls of my room properly stacked with CD's that I was fond of buying.  Fortunately, iPods came along and I discovered downloading.  I'm sorry that downloading is illegal but CD's are insanely expensive.  And I don't have to buy DVD's because me and my mom love to watch, so she buys it.  Not the same situation with books.  I'm the only one in my family who reads.

Anyway, back to growing up.  When I'm grown up, je voudrais être un belle, chaud, riche et futé femme. Ha! Decipher that.

i’ll run the marathon

I love watching TV, it is one of my simple pleasures, like reading and music and movies.  That is actually what I did the last half of my sembreak, a marathon!  I went in a marathon with Wentworth Miller in Prison Break.  Before, I never actually gave a damn about Prison Break because I felt that what they were doing was impossible, which actually is, and yet, the plot was very well made and all the twists, betrayals and even romance that goes with it twirled into a perfect combination of a drama. 

I actually feel that I've missed a lot by not having started watching the series along with other people.  I didn't have someone to exclaim excitement and nerves while watching the series except with my mom who is actually my TV buddy.   We buy currently popular series and then go on a marathon.  However, some seasons are not complete or that the US is already showing their 10th episode while we are starting with a previous season, so, I found a solution through http://www.sidereel.com.  The site have this unbelievably complete list of all TV shows ever created.  The videos that they have are in good quality and could also be buffered fast depending on the media player used.  Viewers can choose from different media for viewing to suite their liking. The episodes are often updated so you won't feel lost at all.  In short, this is heaven for all TV buffs alike.  And have I mentioned, watching is completely free?

Anyway, here are the shows that I religiously watch either from DVD or the site:  One Tree Hill (well, I'm a teenager and I like Chad), Grey's Anatomy, Heroes, Prison Break, Ghost Whisperer, and South of Nowhere.  Actually, they are few so I'll try catching up with other shows.  I used to watch CSI, before Miami and New York came deliberately destroying the show.  And I watch The Amazing Race which is the only reality show I watch. I plan to watch Lost, but they say that the ratings are plunging, so I'm not sure.  I also plan to watch Kyle XY which I think is about an alien.  However, among all of these shows, nothing gives me more comfort than Friends; sad that it had to end.

changes

I kept on changing my template this past week, and finally, I could say that I am already happy.  The main picture was taken in Batanes.  Although i.ph can't really display the exact image we captured, it still looks nice.

Anyway, I happen to watch Serendipity the other day, alone, in my room, and I could really and truly say that it is my favorite movie of all time.  The simplicity of the love story transpiring and of the events that happened were so immense that even though the movie could be mere as that, I feel the emotions that the movie is trying to bring to the audience, and not all movie does that to me.  Serendipity is the only movie that has a semi-annual movie viewing opportunity in my great deal of pirated DVD's.  It must be the only movie that I did not watch once.  I watch it twice a year and each time I watch it, the movie feels like it just keeps on getting better.  I may be the only person to watch a single movie twice a year, as if it is a tradition.  I watch it during sembreaks and during summer vacations.  Weird, huh?  I don't really care. It makes me hope, it gives me hope.

After watching the movie, so, do I believe in destiny?  I do believe in destiny, but I also believe that we control how we bring this destiny about.  And these destinies could also be changed, depending on how we deal with the trials we face.  I believe that God's destiny for us are all great, but not everyone works on fulfilling their destinies even though we are faced with the opportunity to do so.  

ten years back to the future

I've already planned my future.

I've been planning my future since I was very young, gladly, everything is still going the way as planned.  Although my plans when I was in grade 4 changed incredibly, I could still very well say, it has improved nonetheless.

When I was young, I must be the only nerd to tune into Discovery Channel and religiously watch Lonely Planet.  I was in grade two or something and through the show, I discovered the world.  True to its name, the Discovery Channel did indeed helped me discover.  It was there that I said that when I grow up, I would like to host Lonely Planet, or do something similar.  During the 4th grade, I then discovered the perfect career for me: journalism.  I used to be very passionate about writing and it seems that writing and traveling coincide with being a journalist, plus I get to see myself in TV.  Also, during the 4th grade, I said that I would write a novel, which is now part of my "Things to do before I die" list.

Anyway, as you see, I've been very determined since childhood that my career should include traveling and the only course I considered was Journalism.  The summer before entering college, we then needed to really make a decision, what course should I apply at in filling up these college application forms.  My parents were against my taking journalism: not much pay, risky, strong competition, etc. So I was stuck.  The only course I know was the course I've focused myself since youth to take.

However, one thing led to another and I ended up taking European Studies which is a very big risk.  Until now, my father doesn't know what will become of me after I graduate.  My mother has been very supportive.  And I am having doubts even though I'm determined.

What will become of me?

I'm afraid but I love the course I'm taking, so I did some research.

I would still travel.  Yes.  And then, with my grade school and high school upbringing of selflessness, I would become a philanthropist.   I plan to work for the United Nations.  It would be a very rewarding career.  I have even already plotted the cluster of the United Nations where I plan to work, in the Research Institute for Social Development.  Now isn't that cool?

Instead of being a traveling writer, which was my original plan, I now would rather be a traveling philanthropist with the goal to change the world.

But of course I can't skip everything and suddenly end up in UNRISD.  Before that, I plan to work for the Red Cross for some background and then take up Masters for more knowledge and then off to commit to a career that is as far fetched as me having a home in Batanes.  But it doesn't matter.  I've set my mind.  And God be with me so that I can prove to everyone who are having doubts around me that I have a future ahead that is rewarding both for myself and for the world I want to heal.

I do hope my dream will come true. 

profoundly foresaken

The Philippines is indeed foresaken, but she is beautiful.

I pity what has come to be of my country, but I love this place, but I can't do anything, or won't.

Why?

I'm not really sure, but I also ask, why is the Philippines neglected?  We actually live in paradise if we think about it.  We have all sorts of tropical fruits, the weather is acceptable, and the nature is damn serene.  Ken of F4 went to Batanes and opted to buy a land, which is actually next to impossible, unless local citizens there stretch their rules a little.  When I went to Batanes, I said I would marry an Ivatan in order for me to buy a land there.  They said that they only sell their lands to Ivatans.  The reason: they don't want their beauty to be destroyed by human beings, the ultimate destruction earth faces.  Indeed, Batanes is the most beautiful place I've been to in the Philippines, but so are other provinces.  In Donsol, Sorsogon, I was able to swim with and touch a whale shark.  Amazing creatures.  In Palawan, I was able to eat lunch with Komodo Dragons walking around your feet.  In Bohol, I was able to eat on a floating boat across a majestic river.  In Cebu, I managed to dive with Nemo.  Even in Batangas, I was welcomed by a school of Jack; hundreds of Jacks swimming around me when I was just floating. 

Isn't it funny, we live in absolute paradise yet when it comes down to it, our ultimate goal is to leave this country?  When hundreds of foreigners come here and create resorts because for them, this place is magical?

In a previous entry I mentioned wanting to live in Tuscany, I still do.  It is because Tuscany reminds me of Batanes and in Tuscany, the probability of me having a house there is better than the probability of me having a house in Batanes.  In Tuscany, I must have money, in Batanes, I must be Ivatan. 

as i turn the pages

A friend asked me a question once: "Which do I prefer, movies or books?"

I thought for a while which I actually really liked better before answering.  Movies are feasts for the eye, yet books are feasts for the imagination.  I then answered "Depends on the genre."  However, for both books and movies, I prefer only certain genres: romance, drama, suspense, fantasy.  Generally, life.  If I were to either read or watch Star Wars or Matrix, if there is such a book, I would rather do the watching since all the special effects that would take place in the movie would never be expressed in the book.  Other than that, then yes, I prefer books over movies.

When you read a book, you see everything better. Why would an author write "when her hands lighted on his chest, not when her hair tickled his neck" (Picoult, Jodie "Salem Falls") if it is insignificant?  If you read that phrase directly from the book, you would feel the importance of that very line.  You would feel the emotion the author attached to that line.  You could see clearly the significance of a line for the characters.  These are gravities that would never be captured in the movie.  Although some movies might, in passing, actually practice such lines, the emotion that is meant to be passed to the viewers would never be delivered, unless a character says a significant line.

Why then do I prefer books?  Because books are captivating, and as I turn each page one by one, read each word one by one, I become more entranced to actually love every emotion that has come about in the book.

"When I read a book I seem to read it with my eyes only, but now and then I come across a passage, perhaps only a phrase, which has a meaning for me, and it becomes part of me."  - W. Somerset Maugham

perfecting paradise

If only I'm in Tuscany now, then this break is perfect.  This would be too perfect.

The title for my entry sounds familiar, I'm not really sure why though.  I'm currently on my second week of my semestral break and let me tell you, it has been rest and relaxation so far.  During my first week, I managed to read five books, all of which were in the genre of romance.  Currently, I'm reading Blood Canticle by Anne Rice.  I've never read a book written by her but since I feel like dying knowing that my days of doing nothing is limited and that I should make use of it the best way I can, I felt the need to just read everything I can get my hands on.

And because my brain is in fantasy mode lately, meaning, pure fiction, I've already constructed the image of my dream house in my mind.  The setting is all too perfect.  It is more of the setting than the house, but the image of the house would soon materialize if I keep reading like this.  The setting of my house would be near the ocean but on top of a hill overlooking the vineyard that I wish to own someday.  The house, I imagine, would be of those centuries ago like the house in Pride and Prejudice but the setting is all too awesome to be actually real.  My house then would be in the province of some remote country where everyone knows everyone else and you can leave a cellphone by the street and get it back later.

Now, if I'm in this said house right now, reading, then that is paradise for me.  I'll just stay there and read, drink wine and probably go swimming since its one of my most dearest passion.

Have I mentioned that there should also be a yacht?