or only one way that was always meant to be?
cascading thoughts
May 27, 2008I faced humiliation and utter embarassment to be a "tour guide" which would cause me fatigue and exhaustion, I passed. What would it benefit me? Nothing, perhaps a nice little spot in my collection of extra-curricular activities for the transcript.
My highschool friend whom I haven’t seen for two years went home to visit. She had been living and studying in the US for college. I’m just excited to get a chance to catch up with her. It’s been a long time. I bet nothing has changed between us, she was a friend, i could count my friends. We’ll meet up for sure, but I don’t know for my highschool class though. We haven’t seen each other as a whole really, a reunion. Our president wasn’t really that good, she should have made a directory for us and a yahoo groups, which didn’t occur, how are we going to keep in touch?
******
Rock and Alternative had always been my true love in terms of music. Anything under rock and alternative is great. Not all songs are good though, there are those that just suck to the deepest of its core you don’t even know how it had come to existence.
You know what I really love though? The songs which start out very quiet, almost whispering where the lyrics just tremble. The song slowly builds up until it reaches a boom where a strong guitar solo riff would occur then silence again. The silence would be interrupted causing strong riffs and drums and would be stopped by the entrance of a violin solo. The vocals come alive again while the violin continues, then all the other instrument will bang once more until the end of the song which would end with the violin still swaying dramatically. That must be the key word drama. I just adore guitar and violin solos. It’s like a bad boy meeting a demure girl. The only song that comes to my mind with this is Gifts and Curses by Yellowcard but I’m sure there are better songs with this type of arrangement. Nevertheless, Gifts and Curses is a really good song.
a secret affair
May 6, 2008I’m going to share another song. This isn’t my current mood or something related to me, it’s just nice, rather, it’s sad
Tell Him - Benton Fall
If you wait
by the side of the road
Then I will pick you up
if you stay
and wait for me
I will be there in my baby blue Ford
I will be there from two in the morn
But don’t tell your dad
Because I don’t have a tale to tell
Tell him something else
Tell him you’re away
Tell him anything
Tell him you’re at Julie’s
Tell him you’re away
Tell him anything
Tell him you’re at Julie’s
So give him the number
To call if he’s scared
To call if he cares
Give him the number
To call if he’s scared
To call if he cares
If you wait
By the side of the road
Then you will be disappointed
If you stay and wait for me
In my Baby Blue ford
I ain’t coming ’round here no more
So Go tell your dad
Because I never had a tale to tell you
Go Tell Him we are through…
*******
After the third stanza of the song, there is an instrumental bridge signaling the shift of mood, we don’t exactly know why or what happened, but it’s something bad as reflected in the last stanza. At first, they were so in loved with each other as presented by the girl’s probable secret of meeting up with this boy. She is hiding their affair from her father so here comes the boy suggesting things for her. Then there was this shift, the bridge, that changed everything. The last stanza is the mirror of the first stanza with changes that reflect their breaking-up. It is actually very sad. The music of the song is even sad. It’s one of those "emo" songs that they love to talk about and pretend to understand.
We know the beginning, we know the ending, what we don’t know is the climax; interesting.
soundtrack of my life
April 9, 2008…just following the trend, it’s a little old, but I decided to do it now, just to see..
With thousands of songs in my playlist, the result might be silly.
Opening Credits: So Long Astoria - The Ataris
First Day at School: Reinventing Your Exit - Underoath
Falling in Love: Look What You’ve Done - Jet
Breaking Up: Semi-Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind
Prom: The Rescue - American Hi-Fi
Mental Breakdown: 47 - Sunny Day Real Estate
Flashbacks: I’m With You - Avril Lavigne
Getting Back Together: So Damn Lucky - Dave Matthews Band
Wedding Scene: Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin (what?)
Final Battle: As Lovers Go - Dashboard Confessional
Death Scene: Time is Running Out - Mae (wow, this fits.)
Funeral Song: Bound to Happen -The Spill Canvas
End Credits: The Unwinding Cable Car - Anberlin
Finale: Glad - Tyler Hilton
******
If my life was a movie, I wouldn’t want to live with this soundtrack, it doesn’t makes sense, it makes fun of my existence.
We just got back from our family vacation, we went to Cagayan de Oro/Camiguin. It was incredible, I love this country.
my favorite song
March 26, 2008Amidst that exam week chaos, I wanted to share my favorite song of all time: Kill by Jimmy Eat World. This song has a special place in my heart even though the lyrics is heartbroken as it is. Along with the music, this song is almost a serenade that could really really tear your heart along the middle. Try downloading it.
Kill by Jimmy Eat World
Well, you’re just across the street
Looks a mile to my feet
I want to go to you
Funny how I’m nervous still
I’ve always been the easy kill
I guess I always will
Could it be that everything goes ’round by chance? (chance?)
Or only one way that it was always meant to be (be)
You kill me, you always know the perfect thing to say (hey hey, hey hey)
I know what I should do, but I just can’t walk away
I can picture your face well
From the bar in my hotel
I wish I’d go to you
I pick up put down the phone
Like your favorite Heath Meizer song goes
It’s just like being alone
Oh God, please don’t tell me this has been in vain (vain)
I need answers for what all the waiting I’ve done means (means)
You kill me, you’ve got some nerve, but can’t face your mistakes (hey hey, hey hey)
I know what I should do, but I just can’t turn away
So go on love
Leave while there’s still hope for escape
Got to take what you can these days
There’s so much ahead
So much regret
I know what you want to say
(Know what you want to say)
I know it but can’t help feeling differently
I loved you, and I should have said it
But tell me just what has it ever meant
I can’t help it baby, this is who I am (am)
Sorry, but I can’t just go turn off how I feel (feel)
You kill me, you build me up, but just to watch me break (hey hey, hey hey)
I know what I should do, but I just can’t walk away
*****
Everytime I hear this song, I want to cry even though I’m not affected, but look at the lyrics. Each chorus is a different philosophy. I particularly like the bridge part especially when he sang "I loved you, and I should have said it, but tell me just what has it ever meant." Really now. I can’t symphatize with the pain but since I’m a romantic, I could still feel the emotion running in that very part of the song. The song is simply about a person who loves someone whom he/she knows would never be his/her. It is lost love, unrequited. Will I experience this? Gosh I hope not. I don’t know if I could bear loving someone, doing everything for him and in the end, he will never love me just as much. It is a sad fact, it happens. But the part where he sang "I can’t help it baby, this is who I am." is a sign of strength for the lover. It is like acceptance that "really nothing would happen between us but I am not going to change to someone who I am not just to get you." So even though the song is tragic, glimpses of strength is always a sign of hope.
love song
February 14, 2008This is currently my favorite song. I have3 favorite songs of all time, but this is just my favorite song of the moment, it is really really nice. It is entitled Love Song by Sarah Bareilles. Here’s the video and then the lyrics. I hope you enjoy.
Head under water
And they tell me to breathe easy for a while
The breathing gets harder, even I know that
You made room for me but it’s too soon to see
If I’m happy in your hands
I’m unusually hard to hold on to
Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me
I’m not gonna write you a love song
’cause you asked for it
’cause you need one, you see
I’m not gonna write you a love song
’cause you tell me it’s
Make or breaking in this
If you’re on your way
I’m not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving I’m gonna need a better
Reason to write you a love song today
I learned the hard way
That they all say things you want to hear
And my heavy heart sinks deep down under you and
Your twisted words,
Your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry
Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I’m trying to let you hear me as I am
I’m not gonna write you a love song
’cause you asked for it
’cause you need one, you see
I’m not gonna write you a love song
’cause you tell me it’s
Make or breaking in this
If you’re on your way
I’m not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving I’m gonna need a better
Reason to write you a love song today
Promise me that you’ll leave the light on
To help me see with daylight, my guide, gone
’cause I believe there’s a way you can love me
Because I say
I won’t write you a love song
’cause you asked for it
’cause you need one, you see
I’m not gonna write you a love song
’cause you tell me it’s make or breaking in this
Is that why you wanted a love song
’cause you asked for it
’cause you need one, you see
I’m not gonna write you a love song
’cause you tell me it’s make or breaking this
If you’re on your way
I’m not gonna write you to stay
If your heart is nowhere in it
I don’t want it for a minute
Babe, I’ll walk the seven seas when I believe that
There’s a reason to
Write you a love song today
***
Don’t underestimate the song with its poppy tune and the weird video, it is actually bitter. I’m not into Valentines when all the people were showing their love, why do you need a day to be able to show your love when there are 364 other days to do so?
static weaverings
January 28, 2008For Me This Is Heaven - Jimmy Eat World
The first star I see may not be a star
You can’t do a thing but wait
So let’s wait for one more…
And the time’s such clumsy time
I’m deciding if it’s time
I’m careful but not sure how it goes
You can loose yourself in your courage
When the time we have now ends
When the big hand goes round again…
Can you still feel the butterflies?
Can you still hear the last goodnight?
And the mindless comfort grows
When I’m alone with my ‘great’ plans
And this is what you said gets her through it
If I don’t let myself be happy now then when?
If not now when
The time we have now ends
And when the big hand goes round again…
Can you still feel the butterflies?
Can you still hear the last goodnight?
I close my eyes and believe
Wherever you are
Angel for when the time we have now ends
And when the big hand goes round again
Can you still feel the butterflies?
Can you still hear the last goodnight?
******
This is the original soundtrack of my life. It’s not my favorite song actually, but I think, in a way it captures whatever I think. My favorite song is actually Kill by Jimmy Eat World but that song is just love sick, unlike this one. In my interpretation, the song talks about life in general, that sometimes we win, and sometimes we loose. We, however, should never quit and continue on believing. Carpe Diem. Like life, there are moments that you would just like to end it, it’s cowardice. What is heaven? That’s why people kill themselves, to reach heaven, don’t they? It’s ironic however. Life itself is one big initiation that we must pass to know if we deserve to go to heaven.
Whenever the only choice is to give up, I listen to this song, "close my eyes and believe".
childhood pocket
November 6, 2007In This Diary by The Ataris is probably one of my favorite songs. Not the best of the best, but definitely a favorite. This song probably describes my current sembreak, the best ever had. However, I did not do anything rebellious of that sort, but the idea is. The song is about growing up and that the process of growing up, is better than being a grown up. Growing up, you face many difficult challenges, commit mistakes and learn. Being a grown up, you have an idea how to handle things perfectly so you are judged accordingly, better not mess up. Growing up, you are careless, happy and innocent.
Anyway, here's the lyrics of the song, for the sake of it.
In This Diary- The Ataris
Here in this diary,
I write you visions of my summer.
It was the best I ever had.
There were choruses and sing-alongs,
And that unspoken feeling.
I’m knowing that right now is all that matters.
All the nights we stayed up talking
And listening to 80’s songs;
Quoting lines from all those movies that we love.
It still brings a smile to my face.
I guess when it comes down to it…
Being grown up isn’t half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters
Is just following your heart
And eventually you’ll finally get it right.
Breaking into hotel swimming pools,
And wreaking havoc on our world.
Hanging out at truck stops just to pass the time.
The black top’s singing me to sleep.
Lighting fireworks in parking lots,
Illuminate the blackest nights.
Cherry cokes under this moonlight summer sky.
2015 Riverside, it’s time to say, "goodbye."
Get on the bus, it’s time to go.
Being grown up isn’t half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters
Is just following your heart,
And eventually you’ll finally get it right.
Nonetheless, I can't wait to grow up so I can have money. Why is it that when you are young, you like to have lots of things: toys, books, bikes, etc.. but you don't have the luxury to buy it? When you are older and earning, you don't even want anything but maybe clothes? And everything you buy when you are older are necessary materials like scissors, pans and refrigerators? You don't want to buy anything for yourself that you have been longing for when you were a child? I'm not saying that you should waste your money on these items, of course spend wisely, but it is really weird that when you have the opportunity to practically buy stuffs you want, and even with excess money, you don't.
Which makes me wonder, will I act the same way adults do when they earn money? I hope that I would act around the middle. I would probably buy a book every other week, my guilty pleasure and the only thing that I actually spend money on. In the past, I was given the privilege of having my books paid by my parents to encourage us to read, and the fact that books are educational. But then, when they noticed that my buying of books got very very frequent, they simply gave me free books every month and majority of times, I buy for myself. It could be a waste of money in my part, I don't earn. Luckily, I don't have to buy CD's like I used to or DVD's. When I was younger, I often dreamed of having the four walls of my room properly stacked with CD's that I was fond of buying. Fortunately, iPods came along and I discovered downloading. I'm sorry that downloading is illegal but CD's are insanely expensive. And I don't have to buy DVD's because me and my mom love to watch, so she buys it. Not the same situation with books. I'm the only one in my family who reads.
Anyway, back to growing up. When I'm grown up, je voudrais être un belle, chaud, riche et futé femme. Ha! Decipher that.
