or only one way that was always meant to be?
A Letter for My Future Partner
April 17, 2011
To my beloved,
It’s April 16, 2011, we have not met each other, but when we do, we’ll know that the future will be spectacular.
I am writing to you now because I want you to know who I was before we met. At this exact moment, I am 22 and I consider myself mildly successful. Mildly, because I had precious triumphs in college which allowed me to graduate far from mediocre. Mildly, because I have sweet memories of my months away from home, discovering myself and the world, when I was volunteering. Mildly, because I am doing exactly what I love, earning from it, learning, and paving a future brighter than ever. Mildly, because I have a good family, and treasured friendships. Only mildly, because I haven’t met you.
It’s quite astonishing to say that, no matter how much I am appreciating my life right now, something is still missing, you.
When I lie on bed at night, I have a smile because I am glad of who I turned out to be. I am glad that I don’t need someone to complete me. I am certain of what I want in life and how I would get it. However, at the back of my head, at the core of my heart, an ache is longing for someone to share this with.
I don’t need a better half, I want a complete individual. I want someone who won’t need me because I won’t need him, I will want him. I choose to be with you because you choose to be with me, not just because you need me. There’s a difference.
It’s funny, my beloved, because I don’t believe in destiny though I believe that among all these people in the world, there is still only one person you will choose to be with and will eventually end up with.
An ache is longing for someone to understand my insecurities, for someone to look beyond that. I am longing for you who will trust me with your heart and with your life. I want to tell my story, reveal my entire being, and I want to know yours. I want to memorize your palm, feel your soft kiss, and lay my head on your comfort.
Before we met, I was happy and drunk on life, but I want you. I cannot wait until I meet you, what is taking you so long? How could it be that I know we will end up with each other, though we still haven’t met?
I love you very much, you know.
How am I now? I’ve always imagined myself as quietly affectionate, though as of the moment, I’m the least visibly emotional person I know. At the present, friends know I’m single, close friends know I’m looking, a chosen few understand that I’m delusional with the idea of finding you already.
How are we now? Are we about to get married, or are we in our 40th anniversary already? Regardless, I’m delighted that we are finally together and thank you for sticking with me and for your patience. I am a handful sometimes, I recognize that, but your being with me makes a big difference, my 22 year old self is speaking.
It’s April 16, 2011, about half 11 in the evening and I am thinking of you. We will meet soon, eventually, but before that, I’m going to collect more experiences so that when we do meet, I’ve got my stories, you’ve got yours, and we’re all set to make experiences together.
Forever yours,
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