let there be morning

“I can not stumble here.  I am safe inside my head.  When I wake up I’ll forget.  I’ll come back to my mess. ” - Waking Dream by Natalie Walker

I am so depressed lately.  It is as if things are finally out of control, instead of being restricted in the parallel structure I have created.  When one problem is solved, another one arises, almost instantly at the same second.  Why is it like that?  And now at this very moment, I am regretting most of the decisions I have made this year.  Why can’t people just reach a compromise when it is for the common good we are talking about?  Why do powerful people, in a matter of minutes, take away everything you have been working on for the past months?  The answer is this, people are simply selfish.

We no longer have money, and we were displaced.  What next?

I don’t understand now why God is doing this.

I want to go back when times were simpler; when I didn’t have responsibilities and I could really care about the sake of events.  I don’t think I like my life anymore.

I no longer have the strength and will to work hard day and night for one thing and see it stumble before even reaching it.

day in the lives

“The timeless in you is aware of life’s timelessness; and knows that yesterday is but todays’ memory and tomorrow is today’s dream” - Kahlil Gibran

I am fascinated by vampires, even before the Twilight mania came out.

***Sidetrack***

I am the type of person who always strive to find something new.  I am a discoverer, I don’t follow trends, I aim to create trends.  And then when something I like or do is all of a sudden, a mania, where everyone is suddenly aware of these, I tend to no longer like that specific thing.  I loved the book (even though it is a very vivid reflection of contra-feminism, but hey, everyone likes chivalry once in a while) but when they made a movie and people who have band together to like it before watching it, I no longer like it.  That’s just me.  Like my love for emo music, when the term was not spoiled.  All of a sudden, there was a period when people claimed that this band and that band are emo (which is false by the way), I, again, leaned from it and diverted to simple alternative.  You can call it either a good thing or a bad thing.  I just don’t like confirmity, uniformity, trends.  I believe that uniqueness and self-expression are better. 

***End of Sidetrack***

I am talking about vampires now because I am currently reading the book “The Historian” by Elizabeth Kostova.  It’s a simple story that travels in history by trying to prove, discover, the idea that Dracula is still alive, after 400 years; hence, the concept of immortality

If given a choice, I would not want to live forever.  Some people might consider this; those who are so greedy and materialistic that they never want to part with these possessions. If Ine lives forever, there wouldn’t be a sense in living at all, don’t you think so? Goals, dreams and aspirations wouldn’t have a deadline.  One would tend to neglect having certain accomplishments for one’s life because one would have eternity to figure it out.  There would also be no sense of fulfillment because there would be no self set deadlines that one must do.

Plus, wouldn’t it be sad that everyone you know and love has gone on except for you?

Maybe if one desires to live forever, they should be able to do something for the world that the world would remember you by; write a book, cure cancer, create world peace, eliminate poverty.