I would simply like to mention the worst day of my entire life, well as I see that it is.  I won’t document and mention here everything because I don’t want it remembered in any way, but I’m still writing this entry so that I’ll be able to determine to myself in future events how I handled the worst day and how I would manage all the other coming bad days.  Not maybe linger on the how, but maybe linger on the fact that I did manage it and I am still alive and hopefully healthy.

 

The worst day of my life.  I felt out of control of all scenarios, everyone was against me, the world was conspiring to take me down.  I felt all alone.  They say that at least once in the life of a faithful, they would feel that God has abandoned them when no respond of salvation has come, that is what I felt today.  It felt like He was just watching me, maybe observing what I’ll be doing and how I managed it.  Or maybe He took comfort in knowing that I can be trusted for a day by myself and I’ll survive.  Guess what, I’m pretty amazed about myself that I did manage.  I was able to throw back what was being thrown to me.  If I was to document this day, I would have pictured a trophy, after all the hard work, even though you did fail, you still learned to survive.

 

And to cap of my worst day, this entry is useless, why did I bother to write?  I like solitary, I like being alone more often than not, because I’m not afraid of abandonment.  Why?  Because after this day, feeling like abandoned for the entire 24 hours, I learned to trust myself and to rely on myself.  I learned to have faith with myself.